Coffee Chat with Tsara Shelton
Pour yourself a nice steaming cup and settle in to get to know Tsara Shelton a little better.
Tell us a bit about yourself. Who are you? Where are you located? Do you have a day job?
I'm a grandma, a mom, a woman newly in love, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I'm living in Quebec, near Montreal, and working as a personal assistant for my mom, brain change and behavior expert Dr. Lynette Louise ("The Brain Broad") and have been working with mom since I was about sixteen. That was (one sec, let me do the math) a long time ago.
I have a passion for reading, dancing, chatting, laughing, walking, singing, and writing. I believe deeply in noticing my thoughts and being intentional with how I see and experience the world. Also, I'm a bit of a happiness junkie. I have a habit of looking at whatever is going on around me and being actively happy about it. For the most part this has been a fantastical way to live. And although I'll admit it has once or twice gotten in the way of noticing where I needed to make changes in order to be truly happy, I still highly recommend it. Just keep an eye out for that pitfall.
How do you take your coffee? Often, with a splash of half and half, indoors and outdoors, with conversation or reflection, preferably organic fair-trade.
What Blank Spaces issue were you first published in? March 2017, Volume 1, Issue 3
When did you first know you wanted to write? I've always, from my earliest moments, sought opportunities to be an audience. Craving stories - from books, songs, movies, cereal packaging, anywhere - seemed to be what my little self was made for. I couldn't get enough of the emotional ride and insights, I begged my mom to sing story songs, "One Tin Soldier" was a favourite, again, again, and again. I learned to read young and made my baby sister sit beside me on the floor so I could feel the story with her. As I got a little older I toyed with the desire to be an actress, a singer, someone who brings people those feelings. Then, around my twelfth year, I read "Flowers In The Attic" by V.C. Andrews and while my budding adulthood felt spooked and titillated and surprised by the behaviours in the book, and my own reactions to them, something happened. I knew, I knew, I absolutely without a doubt entirely knew: I wanted to use writing to make people feel. Once I knew I never stopped knowing. (Though there have been some spectacular shifts in my understanding of what that means.)
What are you reading right now? What is it about and what keeps you coming back to the pages? "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" by Junot Diaz. It is a story (as all my favourite stories are) of self-discovery. Identity. I am loving it! The rhythm is addictive and the style unique without being confusingly so. The characters are Dominicans living in the USA, trying to make space for themselves in their various worlds - home, school, society, self - and seeking spaces specifically made for them. I adore experiencing well told tales of lives lived differently from my own. I adore recognizing similarities and being surprised by innate distinctions. Also, as the mother of four sons, I'm kind of obsessed with reading stories of men deciding what it is to be a man.
What role has Blank Spaces played in your creative journey? "Just remember, we're all in this alone." This quote, attributed to Lily Tomlin, was flapping its lovely wings around my head about the time I submitted my first story to Blank Spaces. As a girl who did a lot of growing up in the multi-cultural city of Toronto, being a mom living in small-town Texas (as I was then) had me feeling quite misunderstood and, well, alone. My family is noticeably diverse, my upbringing somewhat radical, and coming of age in Toronto had complimented that. However, bringing my own children up in rural Texas - though wonderful in so many ways - clashed with too many of my ideas and values. Appropriately, the story I submitted was one wherein I explored the idea that the cities we're surrounded by play a role in who we become. That they are characters in our lives and, hence, worthy of being characters in our stories. For me, the acceptance of that piece in a Canadian literary magazine was akin to acceptance of me as a Canadian with literary quality. I felt understood. Being understood doesn't negate the fact that inside, we are always alone. But it does help us not feel alone. So, I encouraged the quote, still lovely to me, not to go anywhere. But I felt the emphasis where I needed it then: "Just remember, *we're all* in this alone."
Tell us a little about the piece Blank Spaces published and how it was received by family, friends, and the greater community? Okay, here's the truth: I have sometimes given up on a piece of writing because part of me wants too badly for it to be considered "literature." My family and friends have often complimented my writing in ways that suggest they had read literature and were moved the way I want to move people with words. But, you know, I mean, cool, but they are family and friends. So when Alanna Rusnak, Blank Spaces editor/publisher and writer with a literary way with words, accepted my story as "Canadian Literature" I wasted no time calling family and friends to tell them - with feigned humility - that Cities in Books had been accepted by a Canadian literary magazine and so, na na na na boo boo, I'm a literary writer. Their reaction was to be expected. They congratulated me and said: told you so.
Why is Canadian content important? When I was living in the U.S. I would seek Canadian content in order to feel connected to home. Despite reading work from authors who told stories specific to places I hardly knew or experiences unlike my own or likes and dislikes I could hardly understand, there was almost always an undertone of home; a feeling of having been there. I couldn't explain it, I still can't. But I do know that I would often travel along a sentence or phrase and feel transported to where I come from. Diversity in creation matters. Inclusion in creation matters. Just as I crave stories that take me somewhere new — that invite me to experience something I can not experience because of where I live or the colour of my skin or the characteristics of my physical self — I also crave stories that show me to myself. That are familiar. That take me home. Canadian content is important because Canadians are important.
Where has your creative journey taken you since being published in Blank Spaces? My creative journey has taken me to a place of creating an unexpected life for myself. Recently, I fell in love. My life and who I am are in the midst of a transformation while I discover what being in love - specifically, what being in the love I'm in - is for me. It's wild, really. Until this time last year I was pretty certain my story would go one way - back and forth between California and Texas babysitting grand-kids and nieces, helping my sons and their spouses navigate parenting, reading, writing, dancing, sipping coffee while snacking on cheese and crackers. But wow! Falling in love has intensified and furthered the plot. I did not see this coming but I love where it's taking me. I'm back in Canada, living in Quebec for the time being. While sharing my body and mind with someone I'm in love with, and who is in love with me, I'm discovering incredible things. Being intimately understood has revealed vast areas of unexplored territory; I'm excited to see what we find. It's almost like being directed to an entirely new area in a city you thought you knew, only to find out that *bam!* there's this whole other place with all these streets and homes and adorable cafes. So, creatively, I am actively involved in putting my new story together in a way that considers and cares about everyone, including the me I'm getting to know. (Oh, also, I still like writing posts for my blog and am honoured to have my own column at www.disabled-world.com. Probably should have just said that, eh?
What does your writing process look like? IDEA followed by coffee, coffee, coffee, walk, walk, walk, sing, dance, clean, scribble, think, procrastinate, coffee, pee, dance, walk, walk, walk, late night scribbling, early morning coffee, WRITE.
If you could tell your young creative self anything, what would it be? It's okay that you want to write like other writers but it's not okay you think they're more important than you. Focus less on what your writing sounds like and more on how you feel about it; what it means to you. Keep writing and don't be afraid to share it.The criticisms feel painful, I know, but they are sometimes warranted. The accolades feel good, I know, but they aren't always warranted. You are no more or less valuable than other writers inherently so stop being afraid that it's YOU who is lacking. It isn't. Writing is a craft and a skill you can forever be honing. It is work. Oh, and you're right to hope writing can change the world. However, shift your thinking. Use it to affect change in your world. Don't look so long at what your writing is doing outside of you and focus more on what you are letting it do for you. Let it do good things for you.
What is the first book that made you cry? I don't remember the name of the novel but I think it was a Sydney Sheldon book. What I remember is bawling my eyes out on a bus (or maybe it was the subway?) in downtown Toronto because the character lost their baby boy. Man, I cried. And then I lent the book to my sister and held her when she cried.
What do you tell yourself every time it gets hard and you want to quit? : What I tell myself when I want to quit: "Okay, quit. You've done it. You've written. You can truthfully say you're a writer or you've been a writer or however you want to say it, there's no shame in stopping. Your big fear is letting yourself down by avoiding. You haven't avoided. If it's not nourishing you anymore, not exciting you, not calling to you, let it go."
What happens: The writing calls to me, excites me, and nourishes me. I don't quit.
Do you have any writing rituals that help the words flow? Sometimes walking away to dance, sing, clean, go for a walk, sit outside and sip coffee while I let my mind do it's thing without me pushing it. Sometimes these things help the words flow. Usually, though, it happens when it wants to happen, that word writing high. If I have a deadline and can't wait for it I'll push through a piece of writing, flow or no. But if I can wait, I do. I walk, dance, sing, clean, sip coffee, try again. It often works and even when it doesn't at least the house is clean.
Who do you think makes a better writer — a pragmatist or an empath? Why? My favourite writers are probably empaths. I crave stories that immerse me in feelings, reasons for behaviours, inner dialogue that fuels outside action. If you ask me what a book or movie I love is about I'll fall all over myself telling you what kinds of feelings and thoughts are highlighted but I'll forget to tell you what actually is happens. I've had so many people reiterate the question: "Oh, but what's it about?"
Although, a pragmatist likely makes a better consistent writer. Someone who can be counted on.
I'm grateful that there are all sorts of writers and can't thank them enough for sharing stories.
What are you currently working on? I've been invited to curate a website that I'm passionate about. www.SexualDiversity.org is a space where I share news and stories about what it means to be an outlier; specifically how it manifests romantically and sexually. I have autistic brothers and a gay son, I have a non-binary nibling (niece/nephew) and bi-sexual family members all around and, despite progress, the world is still dangerously uncomfortable having necessary conversation around these relationships. It leads to less than full romantic lives for too many people. So, I'm going to work at making the site inclusive, informative, and thoughtful. I'm also working on my first novel (I've, ummmmm, been working on it for a while now but let's not beat ourselves up over it) about four brothers who go to a party when their mom is away. The book, The Mice Will Play, takes place over one night and explores themes of race, identity, and how much do my sons really think about me when I'm not there? (Seriously, I had the idea for this story when I was thinking about my sons and wondering how often I would come to mind if they were doing something I had told them not to do. :D)
What should we be watching for from you? Hopefully, my novel! In the meantime, while I sip coffee, dance, sing, walk, walk, walk, clean, and sip coffee some more, I invite anyone with an interest to submit stories, news, book reviews, to the Sexual Diversity site. It's important to me that a diverse voices and ideas are represented. I'd love to learn from you.
If you’re a past Blank Spaces contributor and would like to be featured in a virtual coffee chat, please complete our online interview form.
Work by Tsara can be found in back issues of the magazine.
